What Time is This?

Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is? Does Anybody Really Care?
- from a good song by one of my hometown groups, Chicago. Oh, how I loved the trumpet section...back in the days when I played coronet.

This is dad's watch. It's set to London time. He bought it on the streets of New York almost ten years ago. He said he'd never replaced the battery. Go figure.

He left the watch on his nightstand when he went to hospital the last time. I carried it home in the chest pocket of my jacket. I forgot it was there for a couple of weeks until I put it on one Saturday.

What is time? A marker, like a road sign? No...too static. A noun? It's very active...time is too short. Or too slow. Or too long. Time flies. Time passes. Time idles. What is time? We always want more of it...can never find enough of it...wonder where it went....

Allen and I must have bought dad a few watches in his lifetime. But this was the one that stuck. This sidewalk bought, $5 Casio with the battery that has never stopped. Nothing personal. Not a gift. No meaning. No intent. But it's the one that stuck. And it's still going.

"Time keeps on ticking, ticking, ticking...into the future"

What Goat is This?

Alright...so I'm over the top with the stuffed animals. Regression is good for one's creative self...or so I tell myself! But the big laugh this holiday came from my better (and more rational) half. There, in the mid-morning hours of Christmas, after calls from relatives and several cups of java...we took to opening gifts.

And what did I find, to my great surprise, but a gift from "Bunny, Cow & Goat, Too." Goat? Do we have a goat in this menagerie? Where? Where's the goat? Perhaps I need to take a break with the stuffies. My better half seems to be losing it!

What Goat is This?

Alright...so I'm over the top with the stuffed animals. Regression is good for one's creative self...or so I tell myself! But the big laugh this holiday came from my better (and more rational) half. There, in the mid-morning hours of Christmas, after calls from relatives and several cups of java...we took to opening gifts.

And what did I find, to my great surprise, but a gift from "Bunny, Cow & Goat, Too." Goat? Do we have a goat in this menagerie? Where? Where's the goat? Perhaps I need to take a break with the stuffies. My better half seems to be losing it!

Less Than 24 Hours to Go...

...and they're climbing the trees! Kitty and Bunny that is :>)

I know some of you have pets that climb their Xmas tree. I have stuffed animals! Go figure! And yes...that isn't a Christmas tree. I've compromised and gone with a dieffenbachia with evergreen accents (see above Moose's head?). I learned years ago that if you buy a live tree that's been sitting out in snow, sleet and (today) rain, it's a gonner as soon as it comes in the house. It's too traumatized. Ask the folks living out in the Pacific northwest - aren't you traumatized when you go back indoors after being out in all that crazy weather?

Moose assures me he'll keep an eye on everyone while I prep for Christmas dinner. Thanks to my tres bon Bon Appetit magazine, I will be preparing 2 new dishes this year: rib roast with spinich-porcini stuffing and horseradish cream (YUMMY!) and Potato-mushroom gratin (Super YUMMY!). I can make both the gratin and the stuffing ahead of time (Yea!), so that's what I'll be doing today while my better half runs into Manhattan to work for the afternoon.

Tonight is awaiting: we've picked up the stuffed calamari and fish salad already (plus a box on pignoli cookies for dessert!), cleaned the shrimp and the crab legs are defrosting! While it won't be the traditional 12 fishes (for Christ and the apostles) tonight, we figure we have about 6 covered!

I was all too happy to learn that traditional Xmas Pudding (which I really do enjoy and everyone in my life puts up with!) also has 12 ingredients, also representing Christ and the apostles. So! Us Brits have great traditions like the Italians!

Opps...gotta run! Sounds like Bunny is losing his perch!

Less Than 24 Hours to Go...

...and they're climbing the trees! Kitty and Bunny that is :>)

I know some of you have pets that climb their Xmas tree. I have stuffed animals! Go figure! And yes...that isn't a Christmas tree. I've compromised and gone with a dieffenbachia with evergreen accents (see above Moose's head?). I learned years ago that if you buy a live tree that's been sitting out in snow, sleet and (today) rain, it's a gonner as soon as it comes in the house. It's too traumatized. Ask the folks living out in the Pacific northwest - aren't you traumatized when you go back indoors after being out in all that crazy weather?

Moose assures me he'll keep an eye on everyone while I prep for Christmas dinner. Thanks to my tres bon Bon Appetit magazine, I will be preparing 2 new dishes this year: rib roast with spinich-porcini stuffing and horseradish cream (YUMMY!) and Potato-mushroom gratin (Super YUMMY!). I can make both the gratin and the stuffing ahead of time (Yea!), so that's what I'll be doing today while my better half runs into Manhattan to work for the afternoon.

Tonight is awaiting: we've picked up the stuffed calamari and fish salad already (plus a box on pignoli cookies for dessert!), cleaned the shrimp and the crab legs are defrosting! While it won't be the traditional 12 fishes (for Christ and the apostles) tonight, we figure we have about 6 covered!

I was all too happy to learn that traditional Xmas Pudding (which I really do enjoy and everyone in my life puts up with!) also has 12 ingredients, also representing Christ and the apostles. So! Us Brits have great traditions like the Italians!

Opps...gotta run! Sounds like Bunny is losing his perch!

Twas the Day Before Christmas and...

...where is the joy? What are you supposed to feel during the holiday?

Yesterday I must have spent about 2 hours walking around the neighborhood doing errands: dropping off cards at the post office, looking for fresh basil, picking up packages, finding Hanukkah paper....

Through it all I could feel myself going through the motions. I tried humming holiday tunes in my head, taking deep breaths of frigid air, kicking chunks of icy snow...but something was missing.
It was joy. This year I am missing joy. That stuff that makes me all excited when I pick up boxes at the mailbox. That makes me sit in front of "How the Grinch Stole Xmas" and sing along (instead, I went into the kitchen to bake). The joy that wakes me up early and keeps me up late (in bed by 9:30pm). The joy that makes me count the hours until Christmas morning and plan the hours afterward so I have plenty of time to read my books!

I feel like I'm experiencing Christmas through someone else's eyes. I just can't find the emotional connect. Not that I don't cry...oh, I'm doing that. Or that I'm not angry...it doesn't take much to set me off and big time! But the joy? Nada.

It's 3:00am - What the....?

(apologies to Clement Moore)

It's the week before Christmas
and Sandy's asleep,
dreaming of presents and
snow storms so deep.

Around 3:00 a.m.,
there came a loud sound,
Sandy jumped out of bed,
her feet hit the ground....

Running quick down the hallway,
she saw a great light,
from the kitchen she saw,
the new floor shining bright.

A giggle erupted,
laughter ensued,
Sandy screeched to a halt,
what a sight did she view!



The moose and the others
had gathered to toast,
the new kitchen floor
of which they could boast.



"Isn't it gorgeous!" Bunny exclaimed,
"The stoves really love it!" Moose proclaimed.
I just shook my head
and heaved a great sigh...
and off back to bed
I did fly.

...I so have to get a job with the Muppets...!

It's 3:00am - What the....?

(apologies to Clement Moore)

It's the week before Christmas
and Sandy's asleep,
dreaming of presents and
snow storms so deep.

Around 3:00 a.m.,
there came a loud sound,
Sandy jumped out of bed,
her feet hit the ground....

Running quick down the hallway,
she saw a great light,
from the kitchen she saw,
the new floor shining bright.

A giggle erupted,
laughter ensued,
Sandy screeched to a halt,
what a sight did she view!



The moose and the others
had gathered to toast,
the new kitchen floor
of which they could boast.



"Isn't it gorgeous!" Bunny exclaimed,
"The stoves really love it!" Moose proclaimed.
I just shook my head
and heaved a great sigh...
and off back to bed
I did fly.

...I so have to get a job with the Muppets...!

Laying of the Floor - 3 hours and Counting!

Johnny the plumber is fixing the leaky pipe under the sink
(we have one of those real old, cast iron double basins!

Sasha and his young apprentice

are laying the tiles!

Here's the sink all done

(look at that shiny pipe!)

And the adhesive is down for

the next section of the floor!

Laying of the Floor - 3 hours and Counting!

Johnny the plumber is fixing the leaky pipe under the sink
(we have one of those real old, cast iron double basins!

Sasha and his young apprentice

are laying the tiles!

Here's the sink all done

(look at that shiny pipe!)

And the adhesive is down for

the next section of the floor!

On This Night, a Year Ago...

...I lost dad. No. It's not what you're thinking. Literally. I lost him somewhere between JFK airport and Park Slope Brooklyn. Now I can look back and smile. But then - Oy Vay! And, for the Freudian's in the room, perhaps it was all the result of the unconscious messaging to us all that dad would soon no longer be with us.

So, if you want the story, take a look back to my January 2, 2008 blog.

On an up note - the stoves have made their floor selection! The men are supposed to be here (seven minutes ago) and by this afternoon, Voila! Should I worry that the building manager has yet to call us and ask us how many boxes of tile to buy? :>) Hark! I hear the door bell! Let the remodeling begin!

On This Night, a Year Ago...

...I lost dad. No. It's not what you're thinking. Literally. I lost him somewhere between JFK airport and Park Slope Brooklyn. Now I can look back and smile. But then - Oy Vay! And, for the Freudian's in the room, perhaps it was all the result of the unconscious messaging to us all that dad would soon no longer be with us.

So, if you want the story, take a look back to my January 2, 2008 blog.

On an up note - the stoves have made their floor selection! The men are supposed to be here (seven minutes ago) and by this afternoon, Voila! Should I worry that the building manager has yet to call us and ask us how many boxes of tile to buy? :>) Hark! I hear the door bell! Let the remodeling begin!

I'm floored! Xmas for our Kitchen

The saga of our kitchen continues! Some of you know the story of how and why we have two stoves (and no, we are not kosher!). Readers Digest version: we treated ourselves to new appliances several Xmas' ago and when they delivered the new refrigerator and stove, they were sans the stove. So my better half called and demanded a stove to tide us over the holiday (until the one we ordered could be delivered in January). Well...the upshot was that on December 22nd, the manager at Home Depot threw the floor model stove on the back of a truck, grabbed two guys from the back room and hauled it over and up 4 flights of stairs! Then, we called repeatedly in January, February...March for him to come and take it back...and he didn't! So we have two stoves. Merry Christmas!

This left the biggest unresolved issue: the kitchen floor. Three plus years of complaining to the building manager and demonstrating how you can see through the floor to the 3rd floor kitchen just never seemed to convince him that we might need a new floor.

Of course, we were a little conflicted, because the history of this kitchen floor is pretty cool. Fr. Daniel Berrigan, SJ once said mass in that kitchen, on that floor. And Caruso (the opera singer for those of you too young) once sang in the kitchen! Needless to say, I kept a little snippet of tile.

So! The new sub floor is down and Thursday morning they lay the new flooring. And so, we get closer to closing the book on another apartment saga.

I'm floored! Xmas for our Kitchen

The saga of our kitchen continues! Some of you know the story of how and why we have two stoves (and no, we are not kosher!). Readers Digest version: we treated ourselves to new appliances several Xmas' ago and when they delivered the new refrigerator and stove, they were sans the stove. So my better half called and demanded a stove to tide us over the holiday (until the one we ordered could be delivered in January). Well...the upshot was that on December 22nd, the manager at Home Depot threw the floor model stove on the back of a truck, grabbed two guys from the back room and hauled it over and up 4 flights of stairs! Then, we called repeatedly in January, February...March for him to come and take it back...and he didn't! So we have two stoves. Merry Christmas!

This left the biggest unresolved issue: the kitchen floor. Three plus years of complaining to the building manager and demonstrating how you can see through the floor to the 3rd floor kitchen just never seemed to convince him that we might need a new floor.

Of course, we were a little conflicted, because the history of this kitchen floor is pretty cool. Fr. Daniel Berrigan, SJ once said mass in that kitchen, on that floor. And Caruso (the opera singer for those of you too young) once sang in the kitchen! Needless to say, I kept a little snippet of tile.

So! The new sub floor is down and Thursday morning they lay the new flooring. And so, we get closer to closing the book on another apartment saga.

What a Party!

There's something to be said for Holiday parties that skip the singing, the games, the silliness and just let us act like adults and socialize. Tonight's event went well, so thinkest me.

Uncomplicated, silly, easy, effortless and painless. Three cheers to the planning committee for keeping it simple-stupid!








Xmas Moose, Christmas Moose, Moose, Moose, Chocolate Moose and Moose.

Meanwhile, back at home, the moose saw my Holiday letter and were upset that Moose, Kitty, Bunny, Sheep and Cow go their pics printed!

So here you go - here's everyone else!

How'd this get so out of hand? Blame it on the New Hampshire State Association. I'm not sure if it was revenge for convincing them to take $250,000 from their Senator in one lump sum (they wanted to spread it over several years) and force them to GROW...or if it was my believe that all the Moose X-ing signs posted throughout New Hampshire were just part of tourist trap, trying to convince people to come to New Hampshire in hopes of seeing a moose. After 3 years and hundreds of miles driven through New Hampshire sans moose, I firmly believed that there were none.

So the NH State Association sent me a Holiday gift one year - everything moose, including Moose (on the far right in green). It was downhill from there...er...ah...I mean...life was full of moose from that day on!

There is now a no-Moose ban in our house, due in part to the fact that they now outnumber the humans 4:1 (if you count moose-in-a-can and doorstop moose!).

Living the Dash

We're Born - We Die. How do we live the dash?

The dash is all the time between when we are born and when we die. The other week, Fr. Murphy asked us how we live the dash. Do we make our time worthwhile: for ourselves and for others? Do we waste the time we're given?

And how do you live the dash when you are watching someone you love approaching death? Are we less attentive or more? Less authentic or more? Do we slow down when the one we love is approaching the end of the dash? Or do we stay the course, because we are still living the dash, even when those we love are nearing the end?

There's a lot of life to live in the dash, God willing. Living the dash.

What's with the sheep?

If you look back over the posts for the last few months, you'll see that sheep are fairly present.

Here is a picture of the sheep on the side of the Pendle, where we scattered mom and dads ashes. They were near the bottom (see how steep it is?), just hanging out during the gale that was sweeping through.
http://www.iknow-northwest.co.uk/tourist_information/lancashire_lancs/ribble_valley/pendle_hill_witches.htm

So, today I get to mass and I'm in my slightly-hyper mood. I've found myself in this mood frequently. It feels like my soul is racing. Certainly my mind is. It's like I have to keep moving or thinking...problem-solving...doing. It feels like there is nothing between that and sitting in a room and crying for a week.

And what happens? Fr. Murphy talks about how hard it is to be still. How stressful the holidays are. How we get so busy shopping that we forget to spend time with people. How we spend our time racing, and don't spend time listening and being with friends. He suggested we pray a mantra this holiday: Be Still. And know that I am God. Then we sing:

Like a Shepherd he feels his flock and gathers the lambs in his arms, holding them carefully close to his heart, leading them home (Isaiah 40:9-11).

What do you suppose those sheep were doing on the Pendle?

How Do You Prepare for the Inevitable?

When you know that a parent is going to die - how do you prepare?

• What is the "right" thing to do: death-watch vigil or keep moving?
• Say everything and bare your soul, even when you've never talked that way to your parent before? Or keep living your 'real' relationship, warts and all
• Continuousl play out the final days in your head so you can live it like in the movies? Or just live it as it really happens?

Do you cry...laught...sing...pray...curse...love...lash out...make love...rage...write...retreat...dance...drink...sleep...sob...think..?

Do you blame everyone and everything...doctors... siblings... stress...your parent...food additives...yourself...fate...God?

What's in the Bag?

We got home from doing errands this morning, only to find Kitty, Sheep, Bunny and Cow getting into trouble. It all started about ten days ago, when Becca left a little something for me. She told me to leave it alone and no peeking! Well...this intrigued Sheep and Kitty, in particular, who reported on Tuesday night that whatever was in the bag, sneezed.

I checked with Becca and she responded, "Did I forget to tell you about feeding and watering my gift? No wonder it sneezed. Please ask Kitty and sheep to check on "it", but tell them to keep anything they find out to themselves so you still will be surprised on Christmas." So...I relayed the message!

What happens today? I get home from doing laundry and I find Kitty and Sheep, Bunny ad Cow "checking on it". What's in the bag?

Speaking of Water....

I discovered this while picking through Blogs last weekend (I’m trying to learn what makes a Blog get on Googles “Top Blogs” list). Anyway…the video is about 3-4 minutes and really cool. If you can’t get it to work on youtube, then go to the web site.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVqqj1v-ZBU or http://www.adventconspiracy.com/

Advent Conspiracy has been active for a few years. A small group of ministers started it (from different parts of the country) and it focuses on a very big, key point (which you’ll see in the video).

They do not collect money, but are partnered with a couple of groups that do raise money to address this one issue.

Just keep in mind…..

Car Industry Bailout: maybe $25 Billion
State Governments: maybe a couple of hundred Billion
Bank Bailout: $700 Billion
I heard a school district in the Midwest is going to ask for Federal bailout money: $????
An unjust war: Lost count

This one thing for the entire world: $10 Billion

Priorities, huh?

When you're an orphan, whose fridge do you hang your report card on?

Do we still continue to make our parent(s) proud?

Remember when you were little and got a good report card? Or a good grade on a test? Mom used to hang our simple stories of success on the fridge.


As I got older and became a young adult, the days of report cards and tests past and were replaced by performance reviews. I always sent mom a copy. Silly, huh? But I lived to make them proud. I worked to make them proud. I wanted them to be proud of me...the person they raised.


Do I continue to make my parents proud? Or do I do it only for myself?

Sometimes I Forget You're Not There

Do you ever forget he's dead?

Sometimes my mind jumps to an idea and I think, "oh, dad would enjoy that," or "we should take dad to see...." Then I remember. There is no dad. And I feel very sad.

Sometimes I see him. A quick glance up or coming around the corner...And a half a heart-beat later I remember he is gone. And I miss him.

This is typically the week we would be starting to get ready for dad's visit. This weekend I found myself strolling through the house thinking that I needed to get the guest towel rack out for dad...and before I complete the thought I remember he won't be back. And I feel relieved.

Dad's Brown Coat

I'm writing a new blog: http://www.mydadscoat.blogspot.com/.

It's about losing a parent. It's meant to be a thought starter...to get people sharing their experiences.

It's also a way for me to map my experience, with all its' complex feelings, thoughts, dreams, and....

This is dad's brown coat. The first blog entry explains it.

This week, keep our friend Jammie close in your thoughts.

Watering the Cat or The Bravest Cat I Know

Ari Katz is at it again. What a brave boy cat he is! This time it's age and his kidneys. He's not staying hydrated, cramping, getting uncomfortable and starting to lose weight. Dr. Karen tried special diet food (ha! Ari likes tuna, only tuna and nothing but the tuna, thank you!) and monitoring closely. But now she wants to hydrate him. Everyother day, 100 cc's, directly under the skin.

Now you may not have heard the story of Ari's attempt to play Super Kitty and fly out of the 4th story window a couple of summers ago. Yep. Alberta went out shopping and came back to distressed neighbors saying there was a cat in the courtyard that appeared to have fallen out of a window. It turns out, Ari snuck out of the apartment when she left and got an inkling to fly.

The result? A broken front paw (requiring screws), a broken jaw (requiring wiring shut), and various cuts and bruises. He was in the hospital for a few days, then had to be caged (yes -we are talking about a cat!) for almost 10 weeks while his paw and jaw healed. They had to put a feeding tube into the side of his neck and for that entire time, Alberta had to feed Ari twice a day through the tube!

But, trooper that he is, he recovered and only has a slight limp every now and again to show for it. Of course, this all happened after the apartment fire, in which Ari woke Alberta up with a paw in the mouth, just in time for Alberta to see flames moving into the bedroom from the living room. Ari and his brother suffered a little smoke inhalation and had to be fostered at a friends house for quite a while, since Alberta was out of her apartment for several months while they fixed the damage.

So Mr. Katz is off on a new adventure. Alberta puts him in the sink, hangs a bag of fluid by a hanger on the cupboard knob, then has to insert a 20 gauge needle into Ari and give him 100cc's of fluid. So far Ari is cooperating and seems to know that it's there to help him.

He really is a brave boy. And I can only pray that this helps him live on a little while longer, happy and in fairly good health. Life is catching up with him, but for the runt of the liter, he's achieved much and had some tales to tell! Someday I'll tell you how we used to play Hide-and-Go-Kitty together!

A Simple Thank You

Did your parent praise you - or even thank you?

Dad didn't give praise verbally. He wrote checks. He made sure you had what you needed (not what you wanted). He rarely acknowledged how proud he might (or might not) be. Even if friends asked him directly, "aren't you proud of her? Do you know what your daughter has accomplished? Did you know..." and then proceeded with a listing of my achievement...even then, dad would just nod and smile and maybe mutter, under his breath, "yes, that's right...."

But you never knew if he was really proud of you. Or if he even had any idea what you did or who you were. It was hard to know if he was or wasn't paying attention. I interpreted his non-responsiveness and apparent disinterest as not caring. I think I may have been wrong.

I'm not sure dad knew how to be proud of us. He didn't know how to value himself, so how could he value his children and their accomplishments?

Last Christmas, the last time I saw dad alive, he was not feeling well. He was tired and struggling with his breathing in the cold air. But I knew that he would love dinner at the neighborhood Italian restaurant, Tonio's. So we went to Tonio's just before he left to return to England.

Somewhere between dinner and dessert, dad asked us to stop talking; he had something to say. He made a toast to me, acknowledging my efforts to make a nice visit for him. And he said, "thank you".

On my worst days, when I feel so deeply how I failed my dad...I hold on to that. I know, at the very least, that in that moment I did good. It may turn out to be the most significant moment in my life with dad.

Thanksgiving Day

To Infinity and Beyond! What a great way to start Turkey Day! A trip to the corner of 40th St. and Broadway to watch the Macys Parade. I lasted until about 11:15am, when it was time to head home and baste Tom Turkey.

The only disappointment was not getting to see Horton (new balloon this year), but I did walk in the house just in time to see Santa make his appearance!

Dinner went well, with a couple of new menu items this year: stuffed mushrooms and biscuits with real honey from Becca and Rick! Yummy! I stuffed the bird ala Allen: apples and oranges, making for a moist bird and lots of basting juice. The parsnips were sweet and roasted, the yams twice baked and the company was the best!

Sheep Captains the Ship!

The final day of Sheeps journey home, he was invited to the helm and asked to captain the ship. What a journey! Sheep couldn't wait to return home and tell his tale of adventure.

A Just Anger? Or an Excuse to Not Feel Guilty?

If I'm angry - my feelings are directed at dad.
If I'm guilty - then I must have my own feelings.

Is there a better choice? Does one have a choice?

Suppose dad really knew he was going to die. And he either couldn't or wouldn't tell us? Then is my anger justified? Is that really what I'm looking for? Justification for my anger that he is dead?

Or do I want forgiveness? Forgiveness for...not being there...not being assertive enough to find out how ill he was? Forgiveness for not being affected enough?

What did you chose?

Sheep gets promoted!

Having followed Sheep's ventures through Paris on behalf of his Moose and animal friends, we can all see what a strong leader Sheep is. Not to mention the fact that his entrepreneurial spirit is pretty kick-a**.

Before you knew it, Sheep was offered the opportunity to steer the ship and took charge! He found the best leadership position was right in the middle. Here he positions himself on the hub of the ships main wheel.

Denial...Is a powerful thing

What do you do with a parent who isn't honest about dying?

Denial. The gap between what dad didn't say and what I didn't want to know.

What dad didn't say about being ill and what I refuse to know created a scenario that served us well in the short run and is now something I can feel guilty about for the long run!

It's not that dad didn't tell us anything. He just told us very little and most of what he told us was prefaced with "I couldn't understand the doctor..." or "they never tell me anything," or "I don't know what they are saying".

My responses were worse:

• He knows.
• He just wants to play games with us.
• He's smart enough to find out what is wrong with him.
• He never asked about mom's health when she was dying...why should I care about his?
• He's lonely and just want attention.

Shortly after dad's first surgery, he came for a visit to the States. My brother and I had to trap him in the car with us in order to probe and put dad through an inquest. It was 2006. Dad said he had a bump on his back removed, but had been hospitalized because the bleeding wouldn't stop. Then he told us they had to cut so deep, they got too close to his heart. We asked if they thought he had cancer. He didn't know. And I didn't push.

Denial.

Sheep Heads Home

It was time for Sheep to head back to the States. Having enjoyed his stay in Paris so much, Sheep decided to commandeer a ship and sail back over the Ocean.

Here, Sheep work in the commissary to pay his way.

What is Leadership?

The efforts of Moose, Sheep, Kitty and Bunny made me think about leadership and reminded me of something I shared with the women who graduated from the St. T's Leadership and Service Institute last April:

Leadership is Courage

It is understanding when to question; when to ask for help.

It is listening, even when called to do something that we believe may be beyond us.

It is working in partnership with others...people like us...people who are different.

It is being in partnership with others even when they think differently...when they behave differently....When their ideas, their beliefs, their values are different than ours.

Above all...it is

Courage. Above all, leadership is the courage to listen, the courage to speak the truth, the courage to know when to lead and when to follow.

Mary is my leadership model. Her courage is my challenge to always serve others with love, to lead with Faith and to become a strong woman of courage.

The Things People Say...or Don't Say....

What did people say when your parent died?

When someone dies in your life, the people around you don't always know what to say.

I guess the people I knew were somewhat lucky. My dad died in England. My brother and I had traveled there to try and see dad before he died: we missed it by about six hours. Dad died early on a Saturday morning (3:30am), so Al and I had to stay a few days to make arrangements and handle the death details. Nothing can get done on a weekend.

So I was out of the country for almost a week and didn't return to the office for a few days past that. So most of the condolences I received were via email. That's actually good. It's less awkward. I mean...really. What do you say?

Most thoughtful: when someone asks "how are you doing?" then actually waits around long enough to listen to my answer.

My Dad's Brown Coat

Dad died in July, 2008. When I went through his closet, he had about five coats/jackets. He only had three shirts and two pairs of pants. Why more coats than clothes?

I took a few things of dads after he died. His hat. His suspenders (he always wore them, usually under his shirt!) And a brown jacket that I had never seen before. All the other coats and jackets I recognized; he'd bought them when visiting my brother or I, or we'd given them to him as gifts. But I'd never seen this jacket before.

It was a little long on me, but actually keeps my butt warm when I pull it down. It's the perfect weight for those days between 40 and 65 degrees. The color is perfect for me - brown.

And the pockets...well...the pockets are the best part! Come to think of it, it's something dad and I had in common. We loved having lots of pockets in our jackets. Places we could hide things (or sometimes lose them). Pockets that held zippers that lead to hidden pockets. Pockets on the outside...pockets on the inside.

Yeah. Dad and I were alike in that way. And, as I'm beginning to learn, in many other ways, too.

Moose - Election Night

Meanwhile, back in Brooklyn, Moose reflected back on the weeks of hard work and organizing that had gone into trying to rally the animals and thwart Palin's attack on moose.

Here, Moose sits quietly by himself, watching the election results about 9:30pm.

Moose - Election Night

Meanwhile, back in Brooklyn, Moose reflected back on the weeks of hard work and organizing that had gone into trying to rally the animals and thwart Palin's attack on moose.

Here, Moose sits quietly by himself, watching the election results about 9:30pm.

Day 5 - Obama Won & the Louvre!

Joy of Joy! Obama has won! The threat to Moose around the world, all their cousins, the Elks, and every living animal that could be hunted had been averted!

Palin was headed back to Alaska!

Sheep was relieved! Although all the treaties he had signed and the coalitions he had formed weren't needed, he knew the work had been important and had opened up several key discussions that Sheep felt would be critical to the future.

To celebrate, Sheep headed over to the Louvre. He thinks Venus is way far prettier than Palin.

Day 5 - Obama Won & the Louvre!

Joy of Joy! Obama has won! The threat to Moose around the world, all their cousins, the Elks, and every living animal that could be hunted had been averted!

Palin was headed back to Alaska!

Sheep was relieved! Although all the treaties he had signed and the coalitions he had formed weren't needed, he knew the work had been important and had opened up several key discussions that Sheep felt would be critical to the future.

To celebrate, Sheep headed over to the Louvre. He thinks Venus is way far prettier than Palin.

Day 4 - Election Day & Musee d'Orsay

Day 4 was the day! Election day back in the States. Sheep was so nervous! He started the day in Paris by watching election results on CNN, but got so anxious he decided to get out and distract himself. He also thought he should follow-up on Mules' suggestion that he speak with Horses, as they carried much more authority and had far greater prominence in Paris.

So sheep headed over to the Musee d'Orsay. After a quick run through the galleries of Renoir, Cezzane, Monet, Degas and Rodin, Sheep headed into the forecourt for a meeting with Pierre Rouillard's Cheval à la herse (Plough Horse). Foundried by Antoine Durenne, it was commissioned in 1877 for l'Exposition universlle de 1878, and belonged to the gardens of the first palais du Trocadèro (Trocadèro palace).

He and Plough Horse, after several hours of discussion, decided to sign an agreement, throwing the support of horses behind the campaign against Palin. Although the need would be mute if Obama won, Sheep wanted to continue working to being prepared.

Before heading back to the right bank, Sheep and Horse posed for a picture. See Sheep way down there...underneath horse?

Day 4 - Election Day & Musee d'Orsay

Day 4 was the day! Election day back in the States. Sheep was so nervous! He started the day in Paris by watching election results on CNN, but got so anxious he decided to get out and distract himself. He also thought he should follow-up on Mules' suggestion that he speak with Horses, as they carried much more authority and had far greater prominence in Paris.

So sheep headed over to the Musee d'Orsay. After a quick run through the galleries of Renoir, Cezzane, Monet, Degas and Rodin, Sheep headed into the forecourt for a meeting with Pierre Rouillard's Cheval à la herse (Plough Horse). Foundried by Antoine Durenne, it was commissioned in 1877 for l'Exposition universlle de 1878, and belonged to the gardens of the first palais du Trocadèro (Trocadèro palace).

He and Plough Horse, after several hours of discussion, decided to sign an agreement, throwing the support of horses behind the campaign against Palin. Although the need would be mute if Obama won, Sheep wanted to continue working to being prepared.

Before heading back to the right bank, Sheep and Horse posed for a picture. See Sheep way down there...underneath horse?

Day 3 in Paris: Touring and Dinner

Meeting with so many animals and sounding the call for support was an exhausting business. Several of Sheep's new friends invited him to travel with them to the Eiffel Tower, although he did not venture up.

Following the visit to the tower, Sheep enjoyed dinner at a fancy Parisian restaurant.

Day 3 in Paris: Touring and Dinner

Meeting with so many animals and sounding the call for support was an exhausting business. Several of Sheep's new friends invited him to travel with them to the Eiffel Tower, although he did not venture up.

Following the visit to the tower, Sheep enjoyed dinner at a fancy Parisian restaurant.

Day 2 in Paris: Meeting More Friends

Following his visit with mules, Sheep headed deeper into Paris; specifically, to the Latin Quarter. There, he met with Goat, representing Sheep's cousins. Together, they discussed their mutual concern that if Vice Presidential candidate Palin is willing to hunt a vegetarian (Moose), then the future would look bleak for their species.

Here, Goat and Sheep pause for a photo op prior to going for lunch.

Day 2 in Paris: Meeting More Friends

Following his visit with mules, Sheep headed deeper into Paris; specifically, to the Latin Quarter. There, he met with Goat, representing Sheep's cousins. Together, they discussed their mutual concern that if Vice Presidential candidate Palin is willing to hunt a vegetarian (Moose), then the future would look bleak for their species.

Here, Goat and Sheep pause for a photo op prior to going for lunch.

Moose Begin Planning

Meanwhile, back in Brooklyn, Moose gathered together a sub-committee to begin working on strategy development.

Here, the chair, Chocolate Moose, and his vice-chairs, Xmas Moose and Christmas Moose, begin researching Organizational Theory and Design as part of their planning a worldwide movement to counter the Palin moose hatred that was now spreading throughout the United States presidential campaign.

Moose Begin Planning

Meanwhile, back in Brooklyn, Moose gathered together a sub-committee to begin working on strategy development.

Here, the chair, Chocolate Moose, and his vice-chairs, Xmas Moose and Christmas Moose, begin researching Organizational Theory and Design as part of their planning a worldwide movement to counter the Palin moose hatred that was now spreading throughout the United States presidential campaign.

Sheep Meets Friends in Paris: Day 1

On day one, Sheep began networking with animals in Paris. Here, he meet with a group of mules, who shared Sheep's concerns that VP candidate Palin was inflaming sensitivities of animals around the world.

Although not related to moose, the mules had concerns that Palin might decide to reestablish mules as a major source of transportation in the western parts of the United States, under the guise of energy-efficient transportation.

Talks with the mules resulted in an agreement that the mules would refuse to cooperate with human in the case that Palin did become VP of America. In addition, they encouraged sheep to visit with their cousins, the horses, who had greater authority and responsibility in and around Paris. The mules felt that the horses should lead any opposition marches that might be organized prior to or following the United States elections.

All in all...a good day on the quest to unite the animals of the world.