Transitions: Back to Work!

After a long break, I began a new full-time job this week.  Although I maintained a lot of structure and schedule to life while I was home, the transition has required everything from figuring out the wardrobe (it's NYC, so black is it), the shoes, the bag to carry, where the Metrocard is, which trains to take, when to leave the house, etc.

I'd forgotten how exciting it could be to work in Manhattan, particularly work in a very active part of the island.  The last job kept me in the Wall Street / Broadway canyons. While it could get busy and had its share of tourists, it never quite felt exciting.

The Chrysler Building
from 41st Street

Now I'm on 42nd Street:  a block from the Chrysler Building, two blocks from Grand Central Station, 3 (in the opposite direction) from the U.N. Friday afternoon, a huge parade of protesters made its way down 42nd Street, past our building...drums, chants, whistles, and lots of literature being passed on.  Did you know that "There are 200 million fewer Chinese Communists"?  Busy, busy, busy.  True NYC hustle 'n bustle.  LOVE IT!

I found myself channeling "Sweetness" (aka Walter Payton) as I dodged, wove, hustled, twisted, and broke through the crowds to make my way across town to the office.  I've discovered the banks, drug stores, salad bars, restaurants, gardens/outdoor plaza's, and a sundry stores and markets, all within a few blocks.

In the mornings, I've explored a variety of ways getting to the office, working to find the most efficient pathway.  So far I have it down to 50 minutes, door-to-door, but know I can shave a few more minutes off of that time.  In the evenings, I explored the plethora of pedestrian tunnels and underground passages to make my way to any number of train choices.  That'll come in handy on bad weather days and days I just don't want to deal with above ground crowds.

I will definitely miss the routine of the last few month:  Mass in the morning, job hunting, volunteer work, long walks in the afternoon, cooking dinner.  But right now, I'm welcoming the routine of the new job.  It's a welcomed transition.

Installing Updates...

Slowly.

My machine's a bit old.  And the RAM ain't what it used to be (wink, wink).

But while things are installing, I've taken some time to read the manual.  Interesting.

Not as boring as one might have anticipated.

Here's what I'm learning:

• Live in the moment.
• Allow the cosmos to take care of the details.
• Trust and surrender.

WHAT!  Are you kidding me!!  I can't do that!  

No way.  Nope.  My original manual says something entirely different:

1. Control everything you can leading up to, in, and after every moment.
2. Prepare Plan B and Plan C because, if you don't, no one will.
3. Trust no one to do it as well as yourself.
4. Repeat Step 1.

You're going to tell me that this new system is going to replace the old, which, by the way, with the exception of side effects, was doing just fine.  What side effects?  Small ones, like

• Insomnia
• Agita and weight gain
• Aggravation and disappointment
• Obsessiveness
• Inability to relax

Well....Now that I look at the list....But, NO!  There is no way that after all this time I am going to give up control!  It's not in my nature.  It's inherent.  It's who I am.  It's...exhausting and wearing my system down.

So you think that this system update will magically fix all of this?  Sounds like Rainbow Pony crap to me.  Hmmmmm....

Please wait while we install a system update...

...if only that could work for humans!

I found myself emailing a friend yesterday and telling her how I was taking some time off to "reset" - intentionally making space in my life to think through the next move in my life.

I know I can't do this alone...in my own head...talking to myself.  And even my small group of family & friends isn't enough.  No, this system update will first require a clean-up:  de-fragmenting my hard-drive, putting together the scattered pieces, and deleting old data and corrupt messages.  I suppose a virus scan wouldn't hurt as well.  Gosh knows what I've picked up along the way!

So, I'm investing in myself:  in the process and the work.  A system update only works if you agree to it.  It's necessary, but it's tempting to put it off for "later" because there are things we want to do and we don't want to wait for the process to complete.

I'm planning that this update will result in:

1. Identifying the job that is a great fit.
2. Putting balance back into my life.
3. Learning to speak as a Leader.