Rule #68243 Section 17 Subsection 12a

LG and I learned early on in our relationship that rules were going to be a key part of our life together. We also learned to laugh at the role rules played, as I started to number each new rule that came along. You're familiar with many of them:

• Don't leave your dishes in the sink (with a little leeway for a "Sandy Soak" in hot, soapy water)
• Put the laundry away
• Don't leave that there
• Pick up....(fill in the blank)
• Don't move ..... (fill in the blank)
• Shoes off in the house

I had many of my own, but they tended to remain with me:

• Make my bed every morning
• Put my laundry away (....wait...is that also above...?)
• Rinse the recylables (so they make the garbage can less stinky)

Rules, are of course, about discipline in one's life.  It's how we establish boundaries (what's yours, what's mine, what's ours), learn to respect one another (for and despite our differences), and it helps keep our lives from devolving into a world of chaos (of which there is already plenty - just turn on the news).

The rules in our relationship helped us build mutual respect.  We didn't always agree...didn't always understand the rule and its' necessity...but out of our love and respect for one another we learned to honor the rules.  We learned that our individual and mutual rules helped us better understand one another (asking "why?" about a rule was certainly allowed and encouraged).  It also allowed us to better care for one another.  I knew what LG needed to feel comfortable, safe, and at peace.  LG knew that my rules (despite their idiosyncrasy) helped me to feel the same.  

Rules in relationships help us build an ebb and flo to our day-to-day.  We come to know what to expect.  Like/agree with the rules or not, they allow us to learn more about our partner: the what and why of rules, and the significance of routine.

Rules can also teach us.  Hang a shirt up along the seams of the shoulder helps to prevent those little pucker pockets you can get.  Hang pants along the crease and you'll have to worry less abiout ironing and they look smarter.  

But the most important thing about rules, for me, was that they helped me to slow down.  To be thoughtful and disciplined.  To remain aware of my partner's needs and wants.  To learn more about my own needs and wants.  To respect one another's boundaries.  To better communicate.  And to laugh.

Laughter, by the way, was Rule #1.