My muse...my Moose. Wherefore art thou?

Some of you (ok...a lot of you) know that last year, while still at BBBSA, I had an intern join me in my work. Holly Moose was a true find! Many of you have worked with interns and know how it can be hit or miss.


But not Holly! She was all about the work!  She inspired and challenged us.  Granted, there was the occasional misstep, like the time she was put in charge of one of the CEO's nationwide calls and half the country couldn't dial in for about 20 minutes.  She claimed the need for 'accommodation' because her hoofs interfered with her ability to dial "all those numbers".  We, of course, complied.

There was also the time she had to be written up for sneaking into Sue's office at night and eating her walnuts ( some excuse about dietary needs, that were certainly of no concern to Sue and I!) Again, Holly claimed that the work environment was not meeting her needs, so we gave her access to the nuts and to a few plants around the office.  We learned to value Holly's differences and the ways in which they made all of us better humans.

Regrettably, shortly after Holly joined us, she was kidnapped.  Rumor had it that employees who had been 'released' the year previously were involved.  The entire incident resulted in a slew of ransom notes and threats which only served to slow me down on my real work.   


Standards deliverables had to be delayed by an entire quarter while I struggled to negotiate with Moose-nappers and do my job.  While the 'nappers'(as Holly likes to call them) were never identified, rumor is that the Mossad was involved (or was that the Moose-ad?), possibly in some effort to eliminate non-Kosher meats.   HR provided her with the number to EPA...EAP...?... services for help with PTKS (Post-Traumatic-Kidnapping-Syndrome).  But my respect and admiration for Holly grew ten-fold.  What she endured to be able to continue working with us!

Through it all, Holly prevailed. Once returned to BBBSA, Holly jumped right back into the CEO chair, nibbling on walnuts and single-hoofidly finished all the samples, templates, tools, and coordinated the webinars around Standards. Holly turned out to be amazing!

 Then I left BBBSA. And while my colleagues were professional and polite about my decision, it was Holly who was top of mind for them. When I drove into Philly on my final day to take all my nic-nacs home, Holly was no where to be found. Not in her cubicle, not in the kitchen sniffing for garbage, not in Charles's office, playing CEO.

I arrived in Denver at the National Conference only to be confronted by Holly's union Rep (when did that happen?) Apparently Holly no longer wanted to intern with me.  Not at BBBSA.  Not at my new job.  "Never ever," was how her Rep delivered the news to me.  Some nonsense about how I created an unsafe work environment, failed to meet her needs, made her do all my work - nonsense!

Imagine my disappointment and bitterness.  Nearly 9 months of work together and this is how she felt!  But it wasn't over.  Oh, no. 

To my amazement, I learn that Holly had negotiated to stay at BBBSA and intern with her new BNAMFF (Best-not-a-Moose-Friend-Forever), Sue!  And what's more - she wanted to work on the new project - AIM360 with "those nice girls".  


Apparently, while I thought Holly was off making copies and filing, she was off cozying up to the AIM360 team!

So now Holly Moose is preparing for a new adventure.  Despite rules against moose-ization with Moose interns and staff, Sue has managed to break the rules and has started 'girl weekends' with Holly!  Last weekend it was mani-pedi's, a new skirt and clogs for Holly:  her new life is getting ready to begin.  I am left to seek solace in reflecting back on all I have learned from Holly; all the ways I have grown; all the warm memories I take with me.  The definition of Muse is "to gaze meditatively on, be astonished".  Holly Moose you have truly been my muse.

 

Letrs frum en inturn

Hay it's mey.  Holly. I snuked in too Sandeeyz spot too riyt u. Wayt. Let mes put spel chyk on. Ok. That's better. I'm worried about Sandy. I think something ate her. It may be happening to Sue, too. It all has to do with meetings. I think Sandy went to one and never came back. She used to say how meetings were eating into her time.  I think they may have swallowed her whole!

Slowly people around here are disappearing.  They say, "I'm going downstairs to a meeting," or "I'll be right back.  I have a meeting."  And then they're gone.  It gets quieter and quieter.  Not that I mind.  Moose like solitary spaces.  But occasionally I hear sobbing.  I'm worried.

My new boss-ess, Sue (she tells me to call her "Goddess," but I'm not convinced) might be getting eaten, but really, really slowly.  She'll come to work in the morning all happy and cheerful, singing a little, occasionally twirling and clapping (it makes me dizzy to watch).  She's all about getting things done - "focus, focus, focus," she says to me in that happy, smiley voice.

But soon she's get quiet and stop moving.  She'll sit at her desk, looking at the light box and start talking to herself.  Then she'll turn to me and say, "Ok, Holly.  I have to go to a meeting now.  Wish me luck".  When she comes back, it's like something has happened.  She's talking to herself.   She's  She keeps saying "I can't stand it.  This is painful".  She sits at her desk rubbing her head saying, "I don't get it.  I just don't get it."   It's like her brain is being eaten.  And then she'll look at me and say, "Who the hell are you and what are you looking at?!"  And I try not to have eye contact except that my eyes are glued open and in one direction, so it's really hard.

And then there's the memory thing.  Boss-ess Sue will come back from one of those meeting things and she can't remember very good!  She walks around, and around, and around in her office,  muttering...and then she'll look at me and say, "Holly!  Where did I put ______?"  Or, "Holly!  Have you seen ________?"  Yesterday she wanted me to tell her where her car keys were!  Doesn't she know that cars are Moose Death Machines?  Clearly she needs some sensitivity training!!    But that man has disappeared, too.

Whatever this meeting thing is, it's effecting behavior.  It makes people mean.  I thought when I was kidnapped that maybe it was just an accident.  But then it happened a second time.  And everyone just laughed.  I thought this was a place that cared and wanted to "make a difference"?

I think these "meeting" things are slowly killing people here.  At the very least, based on Sue, I think they're eating people's brains.  And I don't know what to do.  I hope I don't have to go to any meetings.  Ever. 

It's 3:00am - What the....?

(apologies to Clement Moore)

It's the week before Christmas
and Sandy's asleep,
dreaming of presents and
snow storms so deep.

Around 3:00 a.m.,
there came a loud sound,
Sandy jumped out of bed,
her feet hit the ground....

Running quick down the hallway,
she saw a great light,
from the kitchen she saw,
the new floor shining bright.

A giggle erupted,
laughter ensued,
Sandy screeched to a halt,
what a sight did she view!



The moose and the others
had gathered to toast,
the new kitchen floor
of which they could boast.



"Isn't it gorgeous!" Bunny exclaimed,
"The stoves really love it!" Moose proclaimed.
I just shook my head
and heaved a great sigh...
and off back to bed
I did fly.

...I so have to get a job with the Muppets...!

It's 3:00am - What the....?

(apologies to Clement Moore)

It's the week before Christmas
and Sandy's asleep,
dreaming of presents and
snow storms so deep.

Around 3:00 a.m.,
there came a loud sound,
Sandy jumped out of bed,
her feet hit the ground....

Running quick down the hallway,
she saw a great light,
from the kitchen she saw,
the new floor shining bright.

A giggle erupted,
laughter ensued,
Sandy screeched to a halt,
what a sight did she view!



The moose and the others
had gathered to toast,
the new kitchen floor
of which they could boast.



"Isn't it gorgeous!" Bunny exclaimed,
"The stoves really love it!" Moose proclaimed.
I just shook my head
and heaved a great sigh...
and off back to bed
I did fly.

...I so have to get a job with the Muppets...!

What a Party!

There's something to be said for Holiday parties that skip the singing, the games, the silliness and just let us act like adults and socialize. Tonight's event went well, so thinkest me.

Uncomplicated, silly, easy, effortless and painless. Three cheers to the planning committee for keeping it simple-stupid!








Xmas Moose, Christmas Moose, Moose, Moose, Chocolate Moose and Moose.

Meanwhile, back at home, the moose saw my Holiday letter and were upset that Moose, Kitty, Bunny, Sheep and Cow go their pics printed!

So here you go - here's everyone else!

How'd this get so out of hand? Blame it on the New Hampshire State Association. I'm not sure if it was revenge for convincing them to take $250,000 from their Senator in one lump sum (they wanted to spread it over several years) and force them to GROW...or if it was my believe that all the Moose X-ing signs posted throughout New Hampshire were just part of tourist trap, trying to convince people to come to New Hampshire in hopes of seeing a moose. After 3 years and hundreds of miles driven through New Hampshire sans moose, I firmly believed that there were none.

So the NH State Association sent me a Holiday gift one year - everything moose, including Moose (on the far right in green). It was downhill from there...er...ah...I mean...life was full of moose from that day on!

There is now a no-Moose ban in our house, due in part to the fact that they now outnumber the humans 4:1 (if you count moose-in-a-can and doorstop moose!).

Moose - Election Night

Meanwhile, back in Brooklyn, Moose reflected back on the weeks of hard work and organizing that had gone into trying to rally the animals and thwart Palin's attack on moose.

Here, Moose sits quietly by himself, watching the election results about 9:30pm.

Moose - Election Night

Meanwhile, back in Brooklyn, Moose reflected back on the weeks of hard work and organizing that had gone into trying to rally the animals and thwart Palin's attack on moose.

Here, Moose sits quietly by himself, watching the election results about 9:30pm.

Moose Begin Planning

Meanwhile, back in Brooklyn, Moose gathered together a sub-committee to begin working on strategy development.

Here, the chair, Chocolate Moose, and his vice-chairs, Xmas Moose and Christmas Moose, begin researching Organizational Theory and Design as part of their planning a worldwide movement to counter the Palin moose hatred that was now spreading throughout the United States presidential campaign.

Moose Begin Planning

Meanwhile, back in Brooklyn, Moose gathered together a sub-committee to begin working on strategy development.

Here, the chair, Chocolate Moose, and his vice-chairs, Xmas Moose and Christmas Moose, begin researching Organizational Theory and Design as part of their planning a worldwide movement to counter the Palin moose hatred that was now spreading throughout the United States presidential campaign.

What did she say about Moose?

How could any of us forget it? The moment when Republican VP nominee Sarah Palin talked about hunting moose? Then she started carrying around green-friendly shopping bags with "Real Women Hunt Moose" printed on them. The moose population was in an uproar! How dare she project her political rage and revenge on the moose population? She didn't need moose meat to survive? This was hunting for fun and where would it stop?

The moose in my house were personally enraged and fearful! What would this mean to the future of their kind? How could it be, in the U.S. of A. that a public official, and one who may enter one of the highest positions in our government, be allowed to threaten the lives of another species? What did this say about her respect for life, in general, or for other species...or races...or religions? When would the madness stop?!

Moose saw that the venom this Palin woman was spewing and knew it had to end. Given the history of the Republican party and their ignorance of a just war theory, then Moose would only become the first species to be destroyed! It only made sense. The republican party's history of picking on those larger than them is renowed! A full grown moose can weigh up to 1,800 pounds and stand 7 feet tall at the shoulder, making it one of the northern hemispheres largest land dwelling mammals.


The next thing you know, Palin would be advocating unjust wars on Canada to hunt their moose, or reengaging the Algonquin Indians in war, the people who first called this strange looking creature 'mooswa,' meaning "twig-eater" or "the animal that strips bark off of trees." Then Palin would be off to invade Russia for their Moose or Asia to hunt their Elk! It would probably be done under the guise of 'economic expansionism.

We've heard it all before. It's not the first time. But, if moose had anything to do with it, the buck...er...action stopped here!

Moose had to do something. So he gathered his friends, Kitty, Bunny, Sheep and Cow and researched and planned.