Life is Like an Ant Farm...or Maybe a Rabbit Hole

At least some days it feels like it - to me.  It's the experience of living in a tight, well-constructed little world in which I'm running hither and yon, only to end up in the same place I started.

But more than that, I often feel like I am doing it all at the amusement of God / Great Creator.  In fact, I feel pretty certain that the Ant Farm I live in actually sits on his desk, where S/He derives great pleasure from watching my frenzied little self.


This past month, however, I felt more like I fell down the rabbit hole.  Within a period of four weeks, multiple people from my past, the majority of whom I had not seen in over two years, suddenly reappeared.  Well...let me clarify that (since it sounds like Scotty beamed them all up in my living room one morning).

I've stayed in touch with many of these folks via phone, text and emails.  But it's been years since I've spent a couple of days with them sitting together in conversation, enjoying a meal together.

Thanks to a combination of holiday visits and a national conference, I had the opportunity to reacquaint myself with a number of people with whom I've known for many years.  It was disorienting...and embarrassing.

THEN                                                                                           NOW
=====                                                                                         + 30 lbs
Director in a Nat'l Organization                                         Unemployed
Leading                                                                                      Looking
$$$                                                                                                       -$
Confident                                                                                 Uncertain

Thank goodness for good people, though.  They didn't bat an eye and treated me like we'd just spent time together last week.  It made me miss them all the more when it came time to say goodbye.
Not to mention the fact that I'm back in the Ant Farm....

Fate or Faith (aka: Waiting for the Rainbow Ponies to Rescue Me)

I never knew what I wanted to be when I grew up.  Primarily because fate always intervened.  That is, until now.  Now I just don't know.  And go figure - fate is nowhere to be found.

This desire to do something profound...to make a "real" difference in the world is fine.  I've lived with it all my life.  I'm realizing that this is not the problem.  The problem is that I'm sitting around waiting it to magically happen.

Note two keys words in that last sentence:  "waiting" and "magically".  That alone should tell me what the problem is!

I'm reading "Heed Your Call:  Integrating Myth, Science, Spirituality, and Business" by David Howitt.  In it, Howitt talks about a lot of amazing concepts that can help you rethink how one can own their life and, most important to me, how one can stop waiting and start making things happen in their life.

He talks about 'trust' and 'surrender' as key ingredients in transforming ourselves, that "when applied with action, create success."  You mean it really doesn't happen magically?  I just can't sit and read books with great concepts and VOILA!  my life will come together in one neat, meaningful package?!  You mean I can create my own "profound gifts" without waiting?  Seriously?

Ah...but wait...there's a catch, right?  Yep.

Howitt writes a lot about "living in the moment," "trust and surrender," "allowing the cosmos to work out the details," "co-create the universe," "manifestation of endless possibilities"....

Now we're getting a little "Rainbow Ponies" on me (sorry Hasbro!).  I like my life with an order of 'practical' and a side order of 'realistic' topped by a spoonful of 'doable' - thank you very much.  Trusting...surrendering...living in the moment...not my comfort zone.

Perhaps I have to set Fate aside and give Faith a chance.  After all, isn't Faith about trust and surrender?  Maybe it's time to quit handing over the reigns to Fate and waiting.  It may be time to drive the team of Rainbow Ponies myself.  Time to take action. ACTION!

Giddy-up Rainbow Ponies!  Let's go "co-create the universe"!  And aw-w-w-w-ay we go!

www.Heedyourcall.com

Listen to David Howitt's TEDTalk

Installing Updates...

Slowly.

My machine's a bit old.  And the RAM ain't what it used to be (wink, wink).

But while things are installing, I've taken some time to read the manual.  Interesting.

Not as boring as one might have anticipated.

Here's what I'm learning:

• Live in the moment.
• Allow the cosmos to take care of the details.
• Trust and surrender.

WHAT!  Are you kidding me!!  I can't do that!  

No way.  Nope.  My original manual says something entirely different:

1. Control everything you can leading up to, in, and after every moment.
2. Prepare Plan B and Plan C because, if you don't, no one will.
3. Trust no one to do it as well as yourself.
4. Repeat Step 1.

You're going to tell me that this new system is going to replace the old, which, by the way, with the exception of side effects, was doing just fine.  What side effects?  Small ones, like

• Insomnia
• Agita and weight gain
• Aggravation and disappointment
• Obsessiveness
• Inability to relax

Well....Now that I look at the list....But, NO!  There is no way that after all this time I am going to give up control!  It's not in my nature.  It's inherent.  It's who I am.  It's...exhausting and wearing my system down.

So you think that this system update will magically fix all of this?  Sounds like Rainbow Pony crap to me.  Hmmmmm....