Slowly people around here are disappearing. They say, "I'm going downstairs to a meeting," or "I'll be right back. I have a meeting." And then they're gone. It gets quieter and quieter. Not that I mind. Moose like solitary spaces. But occasionally I hear sobbing. I'm worried.
My new boss-ess, Sue (she tells me to call her "Goddess," but I'm not convinced) might be getting eaten, but really, really slowly. She'll come to work in the morning all happy and cheerful, singing a little, occasionally twirling and clapping (it makes me dizzy to watch). She's all about getting things done - "focus, focus, focus," she says to me in that happy, smiley voice.
And then there's the memory thing. Boss-ess Sue will come back from one of those meeting things and she can't remember very good! She walks around, and around, and around in her office, muttering...and then she'll look at me and say, "Holly! Where did I put ______?" Or, "Holly! Have you seen ________?" Yesterday she wanted me to tell her where her car keys were! Doesn't she know that cars are Moose Death Machines? Clearly she needs some sensitivity training!! But that man has disappeared, too.
Whatever this meeting thing is, it's effecting behavior. It makes people mean. I thought when I was kidnapped that maybe it was just an accident. But then it happened a second time. And everyone just laughed. I thought this was a place that cared and wanted to "make a difference"?
I think these "meeting" things are slowly killing people here. At the very least, based on Sue, I think they're eating people's brains. And I don't know what to do. I hope I don't have to go to any meetings. Ever.
5 comments:
This would be funny if it weren't so true. Holly tell Sue that it will all be over soon and she will get her brain back. Until then, ditch as many meetings as possible!
Tell Holly to go out back and fall down the steps. She then will get to leave the office, get lots of hard drugs and can focus her tears on physical pain not emotional pain.
Well, Holly, this is unfortunately the downside of being human and having to face the realities of the world which is difficult. Confusion, disapointment and heartache are just part of the package - along with clarity,excitement and happiness. Everyone there is just trying to navagate a change that is very challenging and unfortunately meetings seem to aggravate the situation. My advise to you is to give Sue a BIG hug when she comes back from one of them and let her know you care and that you are there for her no matter what. Give her a big hug for me as well - Becca
You are a very observant moose, Holly, and deserving of promotion to Personal Assistant for Sue. Or me. Anyway, here are some tips that you can share with Sue, Sandy and others who Don't Do Meetings Well (you know I am a trainer and so I can't help but to use tip sheets and bullet points):
- Practice active listening skills. Before the meeting, choose a word or phrase that you often hear but don't really understand or like. Then, just like the gang did at Pee-Wee's Playhouse, scream real loud every time you hear that word.
- Practice your match skills. Write down the names of everyone attending the meeting. As the meeting progresses, count the number of minutes each person speaks. At the end, total up the scores to see who spoke most. You could also award a prize to that person - I'm sure Sue has more make-up she wouldn't mind giving away.
- Practice your detective skills. Take notes throughout the meeting to unravel the mystery of the hidden agenda.
- Hone your critical thinking skills. A few years ago, we had a man from Sandy's country who taught us that every meeting should have a POP (you can ask Sue for examples of what that means becuase I'm not sure I ever saw it appplied). During the meetings you can ask intelligent questions like, "So tell me how that applies to the outcomes..." or something like that. This is also a great way to ensure you are never invited back to any meetings.
I think that's enough for now. If you would like to talk about this more, or become my PA, I am sitting alone in the formerly-known-as-the-marketing-conference-room room.
Hey, Holly, it's me, Goddess Sue. Meetings do not eat one's brain. What eats one's brain is fear. Fear doesn't come from meetings. Fear comes from ones thoughts. And we are responsible for our thoughts.
I am in the process of working on myself. It is hard. It is easier in the short run to blame and become a victim. But that just eats your brain and begins to eat the brains of the people around you and the brains of people around those people and so on.
When I see you tomorrow, I'm going to give you a big hug. I'm sorry that I made you scared. It was because I was scared.
I'll be going to a few meetings... but, like you, I'll be going with eyes wide open, carrying with me the love of my friends and colleagues and interns, and my intention to do the best I can no matter how many brains are being devoured by fear.
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