I Should Have...Trusted God

And then it happens.  Something bad happens to someone we love.

We knew "something was wrong".  We saw it...or felt it...or supposed it.

But we set it aside, hoping for the best, assuming it was all "nothing".

And then the reality hits.  It is something.

It is bad news: It is...[fill in the blank]

And then we pile on the "should have's" -

I should have... known.

I should have made her/him __________.

I should have... asked.

I should have... pushed.

"Should have's" allow us to appoint guilt and ownership - to ourselves.  

"Should have's" allow us to take a situation and place it squarely in our control.  But it isn't.

For a long time I blamed myself for my mom dying.  And I did it again with my dad.

I should have...paid more attention.  I should have...said something.

But, over time, I've learned that when it comes to something bad happening to someone else - It's not ours to control.  

We waste time with guilt and "should have's".  With blame and control.

So, if something bad happens to someone you love - focus on the moment.

Focus on being present.  Regardless of what that means in terms of time on the clock or on the calendar.  Release the guilt and control.

When we stay in the present, in the moment...that is where we need to be.

God, the Universe, chose the path.  We have to walk it.

No "should have's".  Only present, in the moment.