Seeking Direction

One of the bestest little something's I got in my "farewell" package from my BBBS colleagues was a compass.  Just a tiny one that clips to my key chain.  Nothing fancy - but it works!

Needless to say, but returning to work in NYC after an absence of 12 years has proven to be an adventure.  Since I last commuted daily via the NYC subway system, they have added several new train lines and re-routed several more.  I was quickly thrown into the reality of my situation when I awoke Monday morning to hear the traffic lady on channel 2 announce that the "R" train was not running due to signal issues.  I was not prepared with an alternate route; just a vague recollection that the "A" train stopped a bit north of where my office is.

So off I go, making the transfer to the "A" train and riding the two stops to Fulton Street.  I sweated on the platform, then smushed myself into an "A" train, anxious for the cold air conditioning to blow dry the sweat that was dripping off my forehead unto the front of my shirt, making me look like I had slow leaks in my chest.  Five minutes later I'm caught up in the flow of exiting bodies unto the platform.  And at that point I realized I was lost.  Well...I did know I had to head up (anything for fresh air!). One flight.  Two flights.  Three flights.  Now what?  I didn't even know which direction I was heading - and was still about 60 ft. underground!

Now I suppose you expect me to tell you how I pulled out the little compass, found south (the direction of my office), and started wandering the underground corridors until I found the southern-most exit.  I should have.  I thought about it.  But it meant stopping in the midst of the rushing flow of bodies, all of whom knew where they were going.  Not cool. 

So I turned to my internal compass. You know what I mean.  You feel it.  You take a deep breath, maybe mutter a couple of words, then go forward, mustering up your courage and belief in yourself.  Hey - what's the worst that could happen?  I emerge from a hole in the ground that isn't where I wanted to be? I have to walk an extra block or two?  I have to re-trace my steps?  Eh.  So is life.  The person who's going to care the most is me.  Rarely is someone following so closely that your confusion gets in their way.  Besides - I might discover a thing or two if I get a little lost!

Well, the ending is a happy one.  I found the southern most exit in Fulton Street (note to self, it's only open 6am to 6pm, so do not try this maneuver at the end of the day!).  And, as I meandered the caverns of the Wall Street area, I discovered my bank, two good salad places, an awesome sandwich shop, the post office, a clothing store, a grocery store (very rare in the city!), and even a 7-11!

I still love my little compass.  It's comforting to know it's with me.  But it's also good for me to take a chance, trust myself, push myself, and seek my own way.

Transitions

My glasses arrived this week: titanium! I feel like I should have Super Powers wearing them! While waiting to get my glasses fitted, I observed a young man of 12 or 13 ordering frames with his mom. He was the poster child for adolescent angst: The unwashed hair, pimply face, mumbled response to anyone who spoke to him. Couple all of that with the classic 'go-to-hell' stare and it made for fascinating people watching.

As we sat side-by-side, the saleswoman asked my turmultuous teen if he wanted "transitions" lenses. He responded with a death stare directed towards his mother, then shrugged and looked down. I found myself saying "no" in my head. "Don't go for the transitions! They're full of feelings and will only add to your angst!"

This has been a period in my life in which 'transitions' have taken precedence on so many levels: work, friendships, time. While transitions can be positive in the long run, they do take some work to adjust to. They involve all sorts of changes and often make ones view of the world different.

Transitions can bring reality into focus. They expose life around you with a clarity that may have gotten blurred with the day-to-day pace of living. Anytime you have to look at reality in the face, it's a tad unnerving!

Transitions often bring beginnings, which means some separations have to occur. Ugh. It means pulling up anchor and sailing on without complete certainty that one even knows where they're going.
Transitions lead to feelings one wishes they could avoid, yet feels like such a blessing when they're standing in front of you, embracing you, making you feel human. ...My glasses fit perfectly and are as light as a feather. Oh...and the "Transitions" lenses work like a charm!