Faith Grows Old With Us

The Communal Penance Service was tonight.

I'm always left feeling deeply touched and slightly surprised when I see older people participating: writing their confession on a slip of paper to take to the Priest, asking for absolution, then adding their paper to the communal urn where it will be burned at the end of the service.

I'm surprised because I believe older people have it all figured out and live life completely, divinely: well past the transgressions of youth.  I suppose that's what I want to believe.  I must admit, I've met one or two older people who don't fit that description - far from it!

Perhaps it's my hope that the years will leave me wiser and more certain, having made my mistakes early and not doomed to repeat any.  Wishful thinking, I suppose.

When I see older people making confession, my heart is touched.  I'm reminded that life is a process and we are never fully complete.  We must keep reaching out and asking forgiveness.  We must keep trying hard to live our lives as loving, faithful people.

Faith grows old with us.  How surprisingly touching.

I Should Have...Trusted God

And then it happens.  Something bad happens to someone we love.

We knew "something was wrong".  We saw it...or felt it...or supposed it.

But we set it aside, hoping for the best, assuming it was all "nothing".

And then the reality hits.  It is something.

It is bad news: It is...[fill in the blank]

And then we pile on the "should have's" -

I should have... known.

I should have made her/him __________.

I should have... asked.

I should have... pushed.

"Should have's" allow us to appoint guilt and ownership - to ourselves.  

"Should have's" allow us to take a situation and place it squarely in our control.  But it isn't.

For a long time I blamed myself for my mom dying.  And I did it again with my dad.

I should have...paid more attention.  I should have...said something.

But, over time, I've learned that when it comes to something bad happening to someone else - It's not ours to control.  

We waste time with guilt and "should have's".  With blame and control.

So, if something bad happens to someone you love - focus on the moment.

Focus on being present.  Regardless of what that means in terms of time on the clock or on the calendar.  Release the guilt and control.

When we stay in the present, in the moment...that is where we need to be.

God, the Universe, chose the path.  We have to walk it.

No "should have's".  Only present, in the moment.